I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
