Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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