another moral hangover. fuck.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
