btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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