No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
