ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
