Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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