I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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