I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
