Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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