Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
where are you?
Hypothermia
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize