Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
