you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Who died my cat blue again?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
