Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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