I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
