I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There's always time for handjobs
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
