Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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