Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
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I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
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Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
ok first of all what the fuck
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