i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize