explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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