i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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