He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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