Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
