I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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