I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
