It's a beautiful day for a hangover
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
