Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize