have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Couch. On fire.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
