My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
