xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I am naked and annoyed.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize