I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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