i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
