bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
