What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
