Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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