I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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