Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It was confusing and full of hummus
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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