Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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