i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
that is very illegal...i love you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
