So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
