ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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