The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
