put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
no, he came in my armpit
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
