Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
