You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
