Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
