3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Randomize
