We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
