Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
