I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
