The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
