is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
