I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
