My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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