Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
