Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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