im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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