this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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