You just made me feel so damn special
handjob tips. give me some.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
